


Ten years

by Rach4040



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff, ITS STILL THE 5TH WHERE I AM RN IHR KÖNNT MIR GAR NIVHTS, M/M, Tiny bit of Angst, myungbinweek2018, non chronological, warning: the writer tends to swear in the notes pls excuse this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-22 16:22:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rach4040/pseuds/Rach4040
Summary: It's Bin and Myungjun's tenth anniversary. As Bin goes about his day he finds himself reminded of different stages in their relationship, thinks back to good times and bad ones. And he knows that when he returns home that evening he'll see Myungjun, his wonderful husband, and that they'll take on whatever the future holds for them.





	1. Daffodils

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of myungbinweek 2018 which I only found out about a few days ago so this is kinda rushed n stuff

There are few things in life Moon Bin truly believes he needs. Enough sleep, for one, otherwise he gets terribly grumpy and pouty and upset at the smallest of inconveniences (though his husband, Myungjun, tells him he's adorable when he's like that. Which usually makes it a little better, along with the small kisses and hugs he gets.) Bin also requires food, he can get pretty hangry at times and that's unpleasant for everyone involved. (Myungjun knows exactly how to diffuse this situation by now, though, and after enough of Bin's whining he'll usually cave and make him a snack.) Bin also likes to dance, he'd first joined a team in middle school and kept this hobby all his life, had even taken part in a few competitions and not done too bad. Nowadays, he becomes restless if he doesn't dance at least twice a week, so he usually takes the time to visit a nearby dance studio a few times a week, depending on how busy work is. (Sometimes when Myungjun notices his husband twitchng or pacing restlessly, he gives him a slight nudge and tells him to call up Minhyuk, Bin's friend and fellow dancer, and to get rid of some of the excess energy.)

Another thing Moon Bin needs, which ties into the first one, is to wake up in the morning, be able to shift a little and immediately burrow back into Myungjun's warmth and hopefully get another five minutes of sleep in before his husband ultimately nudges him awake and mumbles something about 'work' and 'coffee'. 

Today, however, when Bin blinks open his eyes he's missing a certain warm body next to his, misses hearing someone else's breathing, the soft rustle of their duvet over another body. Today he wakes up without Myungjun. Which, on any normal day, would be the start to a disaster, but specially so on their tenth wedding anniversary!

After another minute or so of unhappily lying in bed and pouting and silently complaining to himself, he decides to investigate the lack of his husband on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary.

He pads down the hallway and into the kitchen, following the sounds of music and pots clanging together, his bare feet a little cold on the parket. And there in the kitchen he is, Bin's husband, the light of his life, a literal sunshine, beautiful and gorgeous and funny and... Burning their breakfast?

"You need help there, darling?" Bin asks, smiling amusedly to himself.

"Don't you dare laugh at me, young man! I'm trying to make breakfast for your lazy ass and you're laughing at me!" Myungjun points the chopsticks he was using for cooking at Bin accusingly, then approaches him and gives him a short kiss, the hand not holding the chopsticks placed on Bin's shoulder. "Happy ten years, love," he sayd, smiling, voice soft.

"Happy ten years," Bin replied, voice barely over a whisper, only for Myungjun to hear.

Myungjun smiles, presses another short kiss to Bin's lips and then turnd back to tend to their breakfast sizzlig in a pan that seems to slowly be turning a dark colour it shouldn't be.

"So, how can I help?"

"Can you finish laying the table? I tried doing that but then the eggs started burning. I swear, we need a new pan."

"Only ten years and you already want to get rid of me?" Bin jokes while getting cutlery for them both, then puts some bread in the toaster.

"Yeah, over ten years I've been putting up with you already."

"Time flies when you're having fun, eh?"

"It does."

When the table is laid and the breakfast cooked, they both settle down at the table, before Myungjun springd up again. "I almost forgot!" He exclaims, then disappears back into the hallway. "I thought we agreed not to get any presents?" Bin calls after him, thinking about what Myungjun might have for him.

"'S just something small!" Myungjug answers, then returns with a small bouquet of daffodils, bound together at the stems and already placed in a small vase.

"Tenth wedding anniversary," Bin recalls their meaning, smiling at the gesture. "Thank you. They're lovely, really." He stands up, gives his husband a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

 

Eventually, after all the food is consumed and more kisses exchanged, they both have to head to work. On his way there, Bin thinks back to the bouquet of small daffodils on their kitchen table and smiles softly.

Myungjun probably thinks that he had one-upped Bin, but the latter has arranged for a bouquet of red tulips to be delivered to Myungjun's place of work at around noon with a few colourful balloons.

Red tulips. He thinks back to when they were teenagers, working in that small flower shop and having to know all their featured flowers' meanings by heart. Good times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!  
> Idk how on time the chapters will be seeing as I'm on holiday rn and don't have anything pre-written and have to type everything on my phone but I'm trying my best!  
> I also only realised after I posted this chapter that I totally messed up and got confused w the themes and days and switched sth I'd planned for later around but I can still save this! Were still in the green zone pals!  
> Also. Yes. I decided to clarify that Bin is pan for one (1) joke bc I felt like it. Also bc I can't really make those jokes bc I'm not fully out.  
> 


	2. Red Tulips

The year Bin started high school his parents told him he had to find a part time job. It didn't have to be anything big or fancy, just something to bring him a little work experience and some extra pocket money, though, as they had told him several times, he should consider saving some of it for later on.

When they had first told Bin, he was a little upset. Getting a job, even for only one or two afternoons a week would cut down his free-time considerably. He wouldn't be able to go to the dance studio one town over as often and he wouldn't be able to meet Myungjun as much either. 

Eventually, though, after asking some of his friends whether they knew of any shops that needed a part-timer his friend Dongmin referred him to his aunt and uncle who owned a small flower shop near the main road. Bin turned up to his first shift excitedly, his school bag slung over his shoulder. Two afternoons and saturday mornings he would spend at this place from now on. 

 

A few weeks in Bin was sitting in the store behind the counter, Myungjun across from him with a list of flowers and their respective meanings in his hand, quizzing Bin. When Ms. Lee had told him he'd have to learn the names and meanings of all the flowers they had in stock Bin's jaw had hit the ground. "A-all of them?" His voice had cracked halfway through the question. And all of them it was, so the next few weeks were spent memorising names, looks and meanings of different flowers.

However, he found it quite pleasant. His shifts in the store were quiet, not too many people coming in, and when they did they were friendly and often up for a short chat. And sometimes Myungjun came by and stayed with him during his shifts, like now. Sometimes both of them stayed quiet, focusing on schoolwork and assignments, sometimes they were chatting and joking and laughing, but especially in the beginning Myungjun was often helping Bin learn the flowers' meanings.

This, Bin discovered, tended to be a slight problem for him sometimes. Well aware of his romantic feelings towards Myungjun by now, Bin felt a bit flustered whenever he was asked to say aloud the more romantic meanings of some flowers. Whenever he was asked to do so he blushed, his heartbeat going a bit quicker, and stuttered his way through the answer. Like now.

"Red tulips?" Myungjun asked, completely calm and at ease.

Gulping, Bin pointed to the flower in question to show he knew which one they were talking about. He felt his cheeks getting warmer but soldiered on: "They are a declaration of perfect or true love. Great for Valentine's Day, apart from, um, roses, I guess." He didn't know why exactly he'd added that last part, maybe just to talk about something other than the ridiculously romantic meaning of red tulips.

"Oooh, Valentine's day? Where did that come from, are you thinking about giving red tulips to someone special?" Myungjun wiggled his eyebrows, a twinkle in his eyes, looking a bit ridiculous, but still so cute! Bin stared for a second (that grin, that damned grin that made his heart speed up a bit more!), then waved around his arms when his mind had caught up to the situation and stuttered out a string of words to deny it.  
"No! No, I just... I mean, I just thought it's a bit... Not as mainstream as roses, I guess... But, no one special! Haha, who would that be? No, no..."  
Myungjun chuckled as Bin trailed off. "I'm just teasing you, relax!"  
Bin was still blushing, hard, but was saved by a customer entering the store just at that moment.  
"Hello! How may I help you?" Bin said, maybe a bit too loud, then proceeded to help the old man find a suitable bouquet of flowers. Bin could feel Myungjun's gaze following him while he prepared the flowers.

 

Bin smiles to himself, remembering that day. Neither of them had mentioned it afterwards, but Bin did get Myungjun a bouquet of red tulips on their first Valentine's day as a couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel like "ITS STILL THE nTH IHR KÖNNT MIR GAR NICHTS" (like... "It's still the nth don't @ me" in English I guess) is gonna be the motto of this week for me bc I'm only ever gonna post the chapters later in the evenings as it seems...  
> Also. I'm writing and editing all this on my phone so it might not be any good. I'll try and fix this up a bit when I'm back home but for now this is the best I can do! Sorry ^^"  
> Anyways! I hope u liked it! Bye, good night ^^


	3. Lavender

Bin's way to work is relatively short, a twenty minute walk on most days and two stops on the bus on other, colder ones. When he arrives at his office today, he is still smiling, thinking about red tulips and teenage crushes.

"Good morning," Bin greets the receptionist and his good friend, Jinwoo, a kind, friendly man a bit older than Bin himself.

Jinwoo looks up from his computer and smiles at Bin. "Hi, Bin! How're you doing?"

"Really good, actually. And yourself? I see you redecorated?" He gestures towards a small flower pot holding a few delicate stalks of lavender that weren't there last time Bin came into the office.

Jinwoo blushes, looks at the violet herbs and smiles to himself. "Yeah, I did... Dongmin, the guy you and Myungjun introduced me to a while ago? We've been meeting up every once in a while. He gave them to me when he came by my place a few days ago."

"Oh, lovely! You guys thinking of making it official sometime soon?"

Jinwoo blushes, looking at the flowers again. "Maybe. I'll let you know when it happens."

"Alright. See you at lunch?" Jinwoo nods and Bin takes off towards the lifts, humming to himself.

Lavender, huh? He knows what it means, and he knows that Dongmin knows what it means. Devotion. Dongmin is totally ready to make it official, judging from this present. 

Lavender... Bin remembers one cold spring afternoon when he was around twenty, waiting in front of the cinema for Myungjun. He had been a little early, going there directly after leaving the library, bag heavy with books. He'd returned to his hometown only two weeks ago, wanting to write his university thesis somewhere quiet and peaceful, without distractions. It was quiet and peaceful, alright, but Myungjun was a massive distraction for him.

The day Bin had moved his stuff back into his parents' house he had met him again, two yeqrs of not communicating at all qnd then Myungjun was just standing there, looking impossibly handsome and smiling hesitantly as he approached Bin and his parents, saying hi and asking if he could help move any boxes. Bin and Myungjun had talked a lot that day, sitting on the porch of Bin's parents' house for a long time and catching up on each other's lives.

"Get home safe," Bin had said when they had finally decided to call it a day.

Myungjun had smiled, reminding Bin that he only had to walk a few metres to the house next door.

"Good night," he'd called on his way over before disappearing into his house. Bin waved, thinking about how this had felt like when they were younger, chatting and joking for hours on end. Before they broke up.

After that day they met up whenever Myungjun came home to visit. (Bin's parents had told him they'd noticed Myungjun coming by more often than before for some mysterious reason.) That day was one of those meetings, Bin had heard of a movie he wanted to see and asked Myungjun to come along. 'The Scent of Lavender', it was called. Today Bin can't really remember what it was about, some ridiculous love story probably, but he temembers reaching for Myungjun's hand and holding it throughout the movie. He also remembers Myungjun kissing him before they had said good night that evening. He remembers the want to give them another chance, the hope that maybe they'll work out this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that this chapter is late! (Jetzt könnt ihr mir was, liebe Leute) I had a p exhausting day yesterday and didn't have the energy to write yesterday evening...  
> Anyways, let's see if I finish today's chapter today or if his fic is permanently late now.  
> Anyways, thank u for ur patience!


	4. Rhododendrum

Bin hasn't been able to concentrate on his work all day. For some reason he keeps remembering different stages in his and Myungjun's relationship, various moments and emotions. Even during his lunch break he isn't really with it. 

He, Jinwoo and Yoon Sanha, a fellow employee, motivated and excitable, got a table at the window with a nice view of the violet and red rhododendron bushes outside and the street beyond them. 

Rhododendrons. These are the same shade as the ones outside of Myungjun's parents' house, the same colour of the heartbreak Bin had experienced all those years ago, as his younger self had put it in a few too many angsty diary entries. 

He remembers that day well, Myungjun must do, too. They haven't talked about it in a while, but for some reason the memories come flooding back to Bin now.

 

The rhododendrons were in full bloom, the weather almost too hot. It was the first day of Bin's summer holidays and was waiting for Myungjun's return from university. Myungjun had sent him a short text earlier that day saying he would arrive at 4pm. All his texts were short those days, so were Bin's. Officially they were still dating, but... Not really. But young Bin didn't really want to acknowledge that. 

Myungjun is two years older than him, meaning he had finished secondary school earlier than Bin, had left their hometown earlier than Bin and started university earlier than Bin, leaving Bin behind. 

When Myungjun had first left there had been many tears and consoling kisses and promises to text and call every day. And they did, in the beginning. But the calls started getting fewer in-between. Myungjun said he was busy. And when they called Myungjun talked about life at university and many things Bin didn't quite understand or know of. He talked about school in return, and his dance lessons and his job at the flower shop.

Sometimes Bin realised he wasn't sure what to say. To his boyfriend. And sometimes he even realised he didn't want to talk to him, because he didn't know what to say and because maybe he could spend that time on something else, but as soon as he thought this he hated himself. Myungjun was his boyfriend! He should want nothing more than to talk to him and spend his time on him.

And then Myungjun didn't answer his call. Bin tried calling him twice and then decided not to try again. Myungjun was probably just busy. Life at uni was just busy. Bin didn't mention it the next time they called. 

And so calling at least two times a week turned into once a week. Turned into every two weeks. Turned into every once in a while. And their texts grew fewer in-between as well. At some point in winter Bin stopped texting Myungjun good morning and good night. Myungjun stopped sending random selfies and their use of emojis declines rapidly.

When Myungjun finally arrived Bin was playing on his phone but he put it away quickly when he noticed the car pulling up. Myungjun jumped out of the driver's side, pulling Bin into a hug. Bin slung his arms around Myungjun's waist, smiling to himself.

Myungjun was back now. They'd be back to how they used to be in no time. A happy couple, disgustingly sweet and cheesy.

"You've grown even more!" Myungjun complained once they pulled back. "Not fair. Get back down here, Mister!"

Bin grinned, then leaned down and pressed a short kiss to Myungjun's lips. "Like this?" He asked, still smiling.

"Acceptable," Myungjun decided. "Now, are you gonna help me with my bags?"

And so Bin found himself carrying one of Myungjun's two bags. "So, what's changed around here?" Myungjun asked on their way upstairs to his room.

"Hmm. Not much, really. You wanna go around town and have a look?"

"Sure"

 

They ended up having dinner at a fast food place a few blocks from their houses. The food was greasy and heavy, but just right. Bin hadn't eaten a lot that day, nerves about seeing Myungjun again had been making him feel queasy when only looking at anything edible.

"So, how long are you staying exactly?" Bin asked, desperate for some kind of conversation.

"Oh, I'm not sure yet... A week at most, I think. I have a few assignments to get done."

"Oh. Alright."

"And... How long are your holidays?" 

"I have around... Three weeks left?" He counted in his head. "Yeah, sounds about right. Three weeks." He wanted to ask if he could go with Myungjun and stay with him for a week or so, but something held him back. And Myungjun didn't suggest anything of the like either, so he didn't mention it.

When they arrived at home it was past 10pm, daylight slowly fading behind the horizon, colouring the sky in reds and blues and little sprinkles of glowing stars. It was beautiful, and just a year ago Bin would have asked Myungjun to stay up with him to watch them. But not that night. 

"So... I'll let you sleep, then. And say hi to your parents, you haven't seen them since you arrived," Bin said. He went to hug Myungjun, but he stopped Bin.

"Actually -"Bin stopped in his tracks. "I kind of wanted to talk to you. About... Us." Myungjun looked at Bin solemnly.

"Oh." Bin stepped back. A hollow feeling settled into his chest, expanding with every passing second. It was pulling at him like a black hole.

"I- I'm just not sure-" Myungjun cut himself off, wringing his hands together, biting at his lip. "I don't know how to put this. Listen, Bin. I, I'm not sure this is what either of us wants anymore. I think I don't, at least. So continuing with... Us. It just, it wouldn't be fair or good for either of us." Myungjun looked at him, looking for something in his face. Maybe understanding, maybe agreement, maybe something else. 

"Oh." Was all Bin could say. Because he understood, he agreed, to some degree. But he didn't feel quite ready to end... It. Them. 

"I... Bin, don't get me wrong. I adore you and I love you. I just don't feel like we're working out. We haven't actually been speaking for like three months. Bin. Please look at me. Talk to me."

"No. No, you're- you're right," Bin said, hating himself for this already. But he couldn't say anything else. Myungjun looked at him, seeming so resigned, hopeless. Myungjun didn't seem to have any fight in him. And Bin didn't think he had the energy to convince him. Because he agreed. "I... Okay. Good night, Myungjun. Goodbye."

Bin turned around, ready to leave when Myungjun spoke up again. For a second Bin had hope that maybe Myungjun had changed his mind.

"Goodbye," Myungjun said, voice sounding tired.

The tears came even before Bin made it inside his home. He walked up the stairs in a brisk pace, not greeting his parents. 

Myungjun left the day after.

Those are rather painful memories for Bin. But he's glad that everything somehow worked out. He was so happy that he and Myungjun met again and that they fell in love again and that this time it worked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay people. Listen. I'm not an angst writer. I'm generally not a "deep emotions of any kind" writer. So please forgive me for this, ik it's not great. But I guess Im expanding my writing horizons so... Yay?  
> Anyways! This has been the longest chapter yet and I managed to update on time! (Were back to "ITS STILL THE nTH IHR KÖNNT MIR GAR NICHTS" I guess ^^)


	5. Heliotrope

Once Bin is back in his office, he actually gets a little bit of work done. He writes one of the reports that he’s supposed to finish soon, then starts on another. Before he gets to the second paragraph, though, he’s distracted by a ray of sunshine falling on his desk. 

Bin has always liked his office. The large window left to his desk faces Southwest and the trees right outside filter the sunlight that, on a lucky day, Bin can see a few select rays of sunlight fall across the room. It’s just one of those nice little things. Slowly he lifts one of his hands that were laying still on the keyboard, intercepts the way the sunlight falls on his desk and moves his fingers a little, watching as the light dances over and through his fingers. A pleasant warmth spreads through his body from his fingertips, and he smiles to himself.

It’s kind of like Myungjun, Bin thinks. Myungjun is almost always bright and happy and loud, like the sun, and he does all these little things, bad jokes, feeding Bin bites of food when he’s feeling especially sappy, letting him sleep in an extra five minutes just because, and many more, that warm Bin up inside. 

Bin has compared Myungjun to the sun a lot of times, more than he can remember. What Bin does remember, though, is the first time he thought of this comparison. He was five or six and he didn’t actually know Myungjun that well at the time. They were neighbours, sure, but Myungjun was two years older than Bin and, even though their parents were friends, they didn’t hang out a lot. Bin always used to be a bit awed by Myungjun, though. He was always energetic and good at talking to people, outgoing in nature. He had a large group of friends, and, come to think of it, maybe that was why Bin had been hesitant to approach Myungjun who had seemed to always be surrounded by people. And even back then Myungjun had a smile like a ray of sunshine, his eyes scrunching up and mouth opened wide.

But the first time Bin made that connection was when him and his parents were visiting some park, pretty flowers of all kinds displayed everywhere. Whenever Bin saw an especially nice flower he asked his parents to read what it said on the signs that described the different flowers and explained their meanings. 

Bin remembers pausing in front of a small plant, stems and leaves a healthy green and small flowers a deep purple. They had an enchanting scent, a bit like when he and his parents baked pies on birthdays and holidays. Without taking his eyes off the small plant Bin tugged on his mother’s hand. He pointed to the flower, then asked his mum: “What’s it say about this one?”

Bin didn’t understand all the words his mum read from the sign, but he was astounded at the fact that the flowers followed the sun. “But how do they know where the sun is?” he asked his mother. “They don’t have eyes!”

“I’m not sure, darling,” his mother answered. 

Bin stared at the plant a little longer, then something occurred to him: He was like the plant! And Myungjun– Myungjun was the sun! Because Bin liked seeing Myungjun, and he liked his smile and his laugh and his voice and everything about him! And because Bin sometimes found his gaze wandering over to Myungjun on the playground when they were both there with their respective groups of friends, or when their families met for dinner sometimes.

And sometimes, in those moments, their eyes met and Myungjun sent him one of those sunshine smiles and occasionally a wave, and Bin treasured those moments, as he still does nowadays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh im sorry ive been gone for so long! ive returned home from my holiday and jetlag was killing me for a while and i also spent a lot of time at family gatherings and didnt have much time to write.  
> anyways, ill try to finish this before school starts next monday but honestly, no promises.  
> also, id really appreciate any comments, kudos, etc u send my way! thanks guys!


	6. Hyssop

On his way home Bin stops by a small drug store and while he looks through the aisles he spots a shelf showcasing different sets of skin care. He sees one that contains hyssop and promptly buys it.

 

The day after Myungjun and Bin went to the cinema to watch a movie, maybe two weeks after Bin had moved back to their hometown, they had a talk. Because both remembered the kiss from the night before, both remembered holding hands and sharing long looks and smiles. And Bin had felt more nervous than he had in a while. He wrings his hands together, can barely meet Myungjun’s smile until the latter takes one of Bin’s hands in his and sends him a reassuring smile. And that’s all that Bin needs to know it’ll be alright.

“I want to give us another chance,” Bin said. “I know we’ve only met again a few weeks ago, but… I’m sure.”

“Me, too,” Myungjun answered, grinning. Bin sprang up from the deck chair he had been sitting on and sat down on Myungjun’s next to him. Myungjun scooted a bit closer to Bin, hands still intertwined. “But how are we going to do this? Last time we went long distance it didn’t exactly go well. And I have to leave tonight already.”

Bin smoothens out the frown lines on Myungjun’s forehead and between his brows with the thumb of his free hand, then presses a small kiss to Myungjun’s forehead. “Take me with you,” he answers simply. “I could stay in the city with you for a few days. If that’s alright with you, I mean. Then we’d have a bit more time to figure this - us – out. And as long as I get some research done it’s fine.”

“I’d love that!” Myungjun said, pulling Bin into a hug. “My apartment’s not cleaned up at all, though! I wasn’t expecting to return home with a cute new boyfriend!” Bin snorts, then ropes Myungjun into helping him pack.

 

The following Monday, while Myungjun was at work, Bin explored the neighbourhood a bit, stumbling across a small flower shop. And when Myungjun returned home that afternoon he was greeted by Bin and a small flower pot containing some hyssop plants, stems a healthy green and sturdy, flowers a purple-ish blue colour.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](https://darlingwoojin.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
